Real Men Wear Pink
Posted by Kalpana
Women need self defense classes and men need therapy
Delhi Times, that “Life style” paper that’s usually just full of gossip, conjecture and uninteresting posed pictures of the ‘rich and famous’ at parties, has, for a change an intelligent, interesting article about Self Defence classes for women. The conclusion the article draws is that Delhi women are Living in a dream world and don’t want to be well – armed.
A telling comment by a Delhi Police Trainer about parents of girls is “Pariyon ki tarah paalte hai unhe” – they raise them as though they are fairies. I couldn’t stop chuckling about this because of the truth in the statement. Driven around in chauffeured cars, taking care of their manicures is of far greater importance than cooking or making their own beds – they live their useless sheltered existences. Well if everyone is fine with it – who am I to comment. BUT – if those same fairies were to find themselves in a position where they were divorced they would wish they had gone for that self defense training. Yes, because your manicure will be the last thing on your mind then.
There won’t be a chauffeur, you’ll probably live alone so there won’t be anyone waiting to fight your battles should some unwanted male attention come your way. I’ve desisted from the desire to say psycho stalker, but cannot bring myself to utter that lying, sickening euphemism for rapists that the Delhi press uses freely – eve teasing. Yes my dears, you never know how life is going to turn out for you so best be prepared. Learn to drive, learn to kick, learn to keep your pepper spray handy, keep your car keys and your house keys in your hand, don’t loiter, know exactly where you have to go, walk purposefully and confidently, wear shoes you can run in, don’t look vulnerable.
Sigh – so unwomanly you say. Yes but then divorced women don’t have the luxury of being soft and feminine. There’s no one to take care of them so they HAVE to take care of themselves. Which isn’t such a bad thing. To rely on oneself and oneself only.
Which leads me to another thought. Self defense training is good and can be great fun, a superb way of releasing tensions – I loved my judo classes, and I loved practicing judo on my husband – poor man, he actually volunteered to be practiced on. Yes, it was practice , we didn’t fight over judo. Girls – go learn how to fight, definitely. But why is the onus only on the girls? Why does this spurt of rapes and abductions in Delhi not lead to a rule that all men have to meditate for half an hour a day? Why do we not insist that every mixed up, over sexed, over macho, insensitive man out there who doesn’t know how to handle his aggression and libido goes for therapy? I personally vote for it. I want every single man in this city to go for psycho therapy, talk about his mother issues and whatever else is troubling him, and get it out of his system. That is actually they way to stop these crimes instead of lamenting the fact that girls won’t get up and fight when everything in the culture of India screams against girls fighting, being aggressive, independent or physically strong.
So you girls out there who are getting divorces – please insist that your exes and soon to be exes go for therapy. Insist on every man you know going for therapy – your father, brother, father in law, brother in law. Lets make therapy the cool thing to do, the macho thing – the Real Men Wear Pink thing.
How about it?
About KalpanaTrying to change the world one blog post at a time. I write. It's the best thing I can do. I am the Hanged Man, the Fool, the sometime Magician. Whether I travel in my imagination or in real life I write about it and show you pictures either through my photography or through the pictures I paint with my words. I read books and write fiction. During working hours I teach English as an Additional Language. I edit.
Posted on March 28, 2012, in oppressive customs, self defense, Sex stalkers, therapy and tagged culture related bullshit, divorce, meditation, rape, real men, self defense, stereotypes. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.