Getting a divorce? 5 Must Do’s

Hey people. If you do find you need to opt for the ‘d’ word then follow the steps I’ve written about at Women’s Web

These are five must dos that will help you during the process. And after.

And while you’re doing all this – listen to music, without lyrics if you are hurting. Or with, if that works better for you. Because Music is love in search of words – Sidney Lanier


About Kalpana

Trying to change the world one blog post at a time. I write. It's the best thing I can do. I am the Hanged Man, the Fool, the sometime Magician. Whether I travel in my imagination or in real life I write about it and show you pictures either through my photography or through the pictures I paint with my words. I read books and write fiction. During working hours I teach English as an Additional Language. I edit.

Posted on February 24, 2012, in Breaking Up, Divorce and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. There is a misconception about divorce that is purely due to lack of willingness to tolerate and stay put. Nowadays, 90 % of divorces happen due to the financial freedom & other options available to couples. Ours has become a materialistic world where success in life is counted purely based on one’s material posessions. A young person having LED Tv, Fridge, washing machine, sofa and other home furniture, computer and car is seen as a successful person. Earlier, one had to become 45-50 years old to achieve all this. Now, even 25-30 year olds have all these and more. Money is easily available. Inturn, we forgot to love and share. We lost longsightedness and vision of the future. We keep learning, earning and buying not necessarily becasue we need to earn degrees or we need to have all imaginable material comforts, but because we need others to take notice of us , we need to be branded as big & successful.

    Small issues make us intolerant. We forget that most of us would be around only for 75-80 years (which is infact too short a time). Instead of trying to be big, smart and intelligent, why cant we try to find peace and happiness in simple things. Being good to others, accepting life as it comes, trying to help someone if help is asked for, avoid unnecessary competition at work and home. But it has now become a vicious cycle which we cannot escape from. Everyday, we see advertisements of smart phones, latest cars, luxury villas etc inviting us to buy all these at low EMI !! and become successful. These material things are supposed to make us happy and our lives complete. If one has all these at a very yound age, then he/she has attained the pinnacle of life. So, everybody tries to outsmart everybody else and keeps buying all these things (irrespective of whether one really needs them or not).

    People return home at around 8-9 PM after work. There is no time left for family. Work pressure, peer pressure, peformance pressure at office eats away all our time. Often we bring office to home and are unable to relax. But that’s how the world is. If we dont keep buying everything that is sold, what would happen to our industries, what about the lakhs of employees in these companies, and what about our GDP and growth rate….so keep working, keep earning and keep buying!

    Men feel that after having worked and purchased everything fot their family, their job is done and over. Now, the wife has do to her bit. She should not complain about small things like cooking, dish washing, floor mopping etc. After all she has to contribute her bit. Ego issues arise as to who has done what or who has contributed more. Trivial incidents give rise to heated arguments and debates. This continues for long time ultimately ending in the ‘D’ word which is now not at all taboo. Each party blames the other for their mistakes..”you see, i tolerated the person inspite of……, i kept contributing, i kept doing so much…….”. But both individuals have to suffer for the decision taken at young age of 25-30 years and bear the consequences for entire life. Iam not asking couples to tolerate physical abuse , violence, extra marital affairs etc., but simple issues which can be resolved through dialogue. If a mistake has happened, just apologise (may be after staying apart for a month or so). We understand how muc we need the other person in our lives, that our lives are so incomplete without them while also trying to understand ourselves and our mistakes. Isnt it better than going behind another person with absolutely no surety that same things wont happen again.

    We need to think hard and reflect about where we are moving and what our future is going to be once our parents leave and we are left to take care of this planet.

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