Do other people know better?

I just read a very well written post about divorce at Divorce – how is it supposed to be done  and I couldn’t but help nod my head in agreement.

You have to have great strength of mind to carry through your decision to divorce because everybody and his brother will have an opinion about it. They’ll force this opinion upon you with great gusto leaving you even more confused, puzzled, hurt and feeling unsupported than before.

I’d like to share you with you an extract from a story by Ahdaf Soueif that I happened to be reading. The story is called Satan (which is the name of a kitten).

‘I don’t understand anything. Are you both joking or what? Do you think I’ve gone senile that I can’t get a straight answer from either of you? So my son is crazy; he’s got an armored head. I know that, but I know also that he treasures you like the light of his eyes and he could never do without you. Yes, I know there’s a woman: some low creature has pulled him for two or three weeks; absence does terrible things, child and it was you who  chose to put countries between you. I’m not making excuses for him. Don’t ever think that. I am furious with him. I’ve told him and I’ve  sworn: after this time I’ll not enter a home of his until things are all right between you. I’ll not enter any home of his unless you are its mistress -‘

This supportive tirade is being flung at her daughter in law, who actually wants the divorce more than the woman’s son. I think this passage illustrates how difficult loved ones make it for us to take the steps we need to take to live our lives as we, within the depths of our soul, know is best for us.


About Kalpana

Trying to change the world one blog post at a time. I write. It's the best thing I can do. I am the Hanged Man, the Fool, the sometime Magician. Whether I travel in my imagination or in real life I write about it and show you pictures either through my photography or through the pictures I paint with my words. I read books and write fiction. During working hours I teach English as an Additional Language. I edit.

Posted on February 21, 2012, in Breaking Up and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. So true. Just be there when they need you and make yourself scarce when they don’t. It’s such a difficult time, and so hard to decide what to do. They really need all their strength to focus on what it is that they need.
    Well Fabulous Divorcee I look forward to reading more of your heartfelt posts.

  2. I completely understand what you are saying. After I found out my husband was cheating on me, I chose not to tell ANYONE until I knew what I was going to do. I was terrified of making the wrong decision based on everyone else’s opinions. Divorce is such a different experience for everyone and it’s very hard to put yourself in that individual’s shoes. The best thing you can do for someone going through a divorce is support them as an individual and be there for them so that they may be strong enough to make the right decision.

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