Men who ‘can’t’ cook rice
This piece of research had me all set to write a series of sarcasm dripping comments on women’s lives. The research findings are, that women mostly gain weight after getting married while men lose it after a divorce. The reason put forward being that women have less time for fitness once they’re married because so much of their spare time goes in doing the housework. While, men lose weight after divorce – because they have to do their own cooking?
The whole idea that housework is to be done by women is probably the reason why divorce happens. Marriage and setting up a nest together is a dream for a man, who suddenly gets ‘looked after’ while the woman now has two people to cook and clean for and usually a larger home in keeping with their marital ‘status’. If she is lucky.
If she’s unlucky, she will be part of the ‘joint family’ the ultimate in exploiting women and suppressing their personalities. In the name of making home-made papadams and other such ‘necessities’, she’ll be completely unable to pursue a career and certainly not to go to the gym, do yoga, walk or anything that’s fitness oriented.
I wonder why Indian mothers don’t teach their sons the life skills of cooking, cleaning and sewing buttons on their shirts? Because they presume their son’s wives will do such things. Or some employed help? Because all the divorced Indian men I know have proudly proclaimed things like –
“I’ve never boiled rice in my life and I don’t know how.” What an excellent thing to stake claim to. The inability to boil rice. Somehow they think it shows how royal is the blood that flows in their veins. I don’t know about you, but when I hear that statement (and I’ve heard it thrice, from three different men), I run a mile. Because to me it says, “ I’m an old-school type of man whose mother, sister, wife, mother in law, maid will boil the rice. I can’t be bothered with those things as I have more important things to do than ‘women’s’ work. I have to go to office, or watch the news.”
Makes you wonder why eating is men’s work and cooking women’s? Makes you wonder why even women who watch news and go to work have cooking rice allotted as their duty?
Don’t get me wrong, I love cooking rice. I simply wonder why I have to be the one to do it? Why is it mine and every other woman’s responsibility once she is married, or, as sometimes happens, even in India, living together with a man?
Does anyone have any answers?