In India death is better than Divorce
The trouble with
Divorce is that it is such a dirty word in India. I know people who are divorced who prefer to say si they claim they are separated, when I know for a fact that they are divorced. I know people who were on the verge of divorcing their husbands and when the man contracted cancer and died, were told by relatives that this was the more ‘respectable’ option! Death is better than Divorce!!!
So too in this movie 7 Khoon Maaf. Each of Priyanka Chopra’s husbands starts acting like a Psycho and becoming impossible to live with. One is a drunk and a bully, another a drug addict, a third a bigamist, a fourth an S and M pervert, another a fortune hunter – I will avoid giving away all the surprises here. But each one turns highly undesirable and refuses to be reformed.
You get the picture, each one of them disappoints her. She makes an attempt to help each of the nut cases she marries to overcome his difficulty, or admit to it, or find a solution and then, when he does not reform his ways and continues to insult or belittle her she takes the final step of doing away with him. Killing. Murder every time. No question of divorcing the guy – because in Indian society your crime of divorce is worse than your crime of murder. The movie is aptly name 7 Khoon Maaf – Forgiven Seven Murders. Do you think a movie called 7 Divorce Maaf would have been acceptable. Forgiven 7 Divorces? No way, that’s impossible. The suggestion is worse than pornography in our society. Murder is cool, and funny and a sign of strength, but divorce…Nooooooo – what a filthy suggestion.
What is a girl to do, when faced with a bigamist, a drug addict, a guy who wants to beat her to pulp every night? Grin and bear it – our parampara(tradition) says. Parampararara- just because women have done it for so long doesn’t mean they’re going to continue doing so. No, they won’t. Nor will they fear Divorce – because it takes at least 5 years to get a divorce and because getting one involves the most low down form of character assassination in the courts. People go through the process, they survive and the live to tell the tale. There are some lawyers who do not persuade their clients to tell a host of lies about their former spouses. Most do, saying this is the only way that they can ensure you get your way in terms of child visiting rights or property shared, but some don’t. And it is possible to ensure the entire process is managed as decently as possible.
Of course, you will never be free from the stay-shackled-till-you-die pyschos who roam the face of this country. Their blinkered world view will come through in all their comments, but what the hell, you can’t keep everyone happy. And you shouldn’t even try.
If you have to get a divorce don’t let society stop you. They won’t come to your rescue when your drunken husband beats you, or your wife runs away with all your money. You have to help yourself.
Posted on February 24, 2011, in abuse, Divorce, oppressive customs and tagged death, divorce, domestic violence, human rights, parampara, rape, stoicism, tradition. Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.